Weird Things Parents Say

Now that I am a parent, I’ve found that I say the strangest things. I’m compiling a list. Here is what I’ve got so far:

— His poop is getting poopier.

— Cat food is not for babies.

— We’re not going to play in the toliet right now.

— Where are your pants?

— Don’t eat the buttpaste!

— Did you eat your sock?

— Did you feel his butt?

— He’s learning from the cats.

— You can tear the cover off this.

— Plastic bottles are the best toys.

— Put your finger in his diaper.