Cold Spaghetti

We take the kids to school, together, on most mornings.  We have breakfast or lunch together a few times a week.  On many days, we pick the kids up together, too.  We play games a few times a week and sit down to the same table for dinner.  In the edges, there are a lot of trading: dinner duties, one of us at the cafe working early morning hours or into the night.  There are things that we could do better, but that’s how it goes — we’re always working on being better.

We didn’t get to this place because we planned it.  I’m not even exactly sure how it all happened.  We took a lot of risks; life is a lot of ups and downs.  Job insecurity.  Liquidation of savings.  Inability to plan in advance.  More than a year of repeated denials for health care.  Uncertainty.  Working crazy hours, on different schedules, for weeks at a time.

But being in this crazy place is the best thing in our lives.  The thing for which we’re the most proud.  We have time with our kids, flexibility in our lives, and fulfilling careers.  Both of us.  On our own terms.  It’s not that we just got here — it’s what we do everyday.  It’s never been about working to a point or reaching a goal, it’s about living right now and doing it the best way that we can.  Somehow, the rest just manages to work out.

My new job is less risk and more defined, but has the common hallmarks of something that fits me: it’s flexible, has many opportunities that can go in whatever direction I take them, and involves domestic and international projects.  It’s got an “interim” prefix for now, as I didn’t apply for it and have to go through a formal process of Provost approval and interviews before the role begins straight off with the Director title.  Plus, since I’m officially a student until the PhD diploma is in my hand, I have wait until December before getting to the next step.  Which is perfect as it means I can try things out for awhile to see how everything fits.  Meanwhile, it puts me into a supportive academic school Uptown, within biking distance through some of the prettiest parts of our city, where I can sit in my corner office on the top floor and see the bell tower, gracious oaks, and green quad of the main campus.  One of my colleagues is completing the site visits to the African continent, which will allow me to focus on fall travel to Belize and India.  The India trip will be more extensive.  We’ll all go, visiting with friends and staying for Diwali, the Indian festival of lights.

It’s very, very exciting — and right now, as I transition from one position into another (and get my defense draft through committee for a September defense), very, very busy.