A water heater from 1996
Chose Thursday night to go ker-frix.
Two times it rained in the kitchen
Using lots of towels and bucket switchin’.
All night long Paul stayed to bail
The quickly refilling basin pail
When no more water was falling (plop!)
He left for the coffee shop.
Francisco (a contractor) was there, too,
And told Paul he would see him through.
Frantically Paul drove through town
Tracking a water heater down.
The truck clutch gave out, what? More bad luck?
But to come was the biggest ‘oh my, f*ck!’
Because when the monster tank was finally inside
We discovered it was much too wide.
Francisco saved the day there, too,
The owner picked it up – thank you!
Plumbers arrived and made a fix
(Though the water now looks like brownie mix)
The old heaters that run on gas
Have clearly kicked our ass
So with the advice from the crew
A tankless system we will debut.
Later this week, the plumbers most pragmatic
Will return and install it in the attic.
All and all, we feel quite lucky
Because what if Paul had been in Kentucky?
Only minor damage in the house
And big-time help from a friend of my spouse.
Only one more tip to share
Something of which to be aware;
After spraying insulation under a home
Make sure drain pipes are free of clogging foam.
*With thanks to Rassles, whose post (of much, much higher quality) inspired this one.
alejna | 27-Mar-10 at 9:19 pm | Permalink
Oh, man. What a big, awful crazy mess o’ mess. (The water heater situation and such, I mean. I love big wonderful crazy mess o’ poetry you wrote. It’s a perfect response.)
Rassles | 30-Mar-10 at 10:08 am | Permalink
Oh, bad poetry is the best, isn’t it?
Imperatrix | 30-Mar-10 at 4:04 pm | Permalink
Oh my. This is my nightmare. Our water heater needs to be replaced soon, as it seems to be half full of sediment.
You’ll have to update us on the tankless water heater idea — we wanted on, but research shows that they won’t work in older homes unless the gas lines and water lines are updated. have you checked into this? (I have no idea how old your house is, as I’m still a coldspaghetti newbie…)
Elisa | 30-Mar-10 at 10:12 pm | Permalink
Wow. You are brilliant. It is said that the greatest works were written over bad stuff happening, and clearly there’s something to that 🙂