How to decorate a Christmas Tree, Cold Spaghetti Edition

1. Turn on the lights when putting the tree together.  In this situation, keeping your mouth shut and the lights off for the purposes of martial accord is not a good choice.

2. When dark sections of the pre-lit tree are found, do not bother spending anytime trying to find out why. Certainly do not spend several hours over an entire day doing so.

3. Do not check every bulb. Even if you are so clever as to take white paper to hold in back of the bulb in order to properly see the filament.

4. Do not change every fuse twice. It won’t make any difference.

5. Do not make fingers bloody by taking out and replacing bulbs. It won’t make any difference.

6. Buy a few strands of lights and add them on the tree, filling in the dark areas…. BUT FIRST…

7. Test each part of the ENTIRE tree. It’s really a bummer to ‘fix’ the dark spots at the bottom and then put on the top to find another dark spot. I mean, it really, really sucks.

8. When you get those string lights? Make sure they are the same color as the rest of the tree.

9. Do not involve the kids until your tree is completely set up, light, and has appropriate tinsel or garland. Otherwise, be prepared for excited children equating to ornament disasters.

10. Also, excited children in the same room as ladders, chairs, stools, or other climbing apparatus are ways of begging for a trip to the emergency room.