We don’t want to leave New Orleans.
But we’re preparing to do so.
It’s been several stressful months here after Paul’s contract evaporated a few months earlier than expected. He’s got a wonderful start-up in the works, but it’s a start-up… it’s not a job. And it’s not close to being finished. Our expenses, which are almost completely made up of three things (house, kids’ school, health insurance), have eaten through our savings… again. This has happened to us before. Job lay-offs have put us within 2-3 months of losing it all at least twice since getting married. But we have always managed to work it out.
And we’re trying to work it out. We should be able to work it out.
But here’s the rub: while it’s hopeful that Paul will have 8 more weeks of billable work coming soon, after that…? After that, the options are very limited. There is no high tech in New Orleans. My assorted jobs will not carry us — living in a high-expense city means that Paul must work. What if there is nothing after this 8 weeks? Then what? The stress of that question alone is a pretty tremendous weight.
We know we have to start preparing, just in case. Which means we’re looking around thinking about what we have to do to get the house ready for sale, or possibly (hopefully?) lease. We’ve canceled the extras. We’re selling things (anyone want Impacto Zero? Or a double stroller? For that matter, email me if you want our house!) We’re trying to see if Will can attend First Grade at an Immersion Charter School (since he’s 62nd on the wait list for Kindergarten), in the event we can work it out to be here in the fall. Maybe I can try to beg Kate into the one that takes 3 year olds?
We’re debating.
Overseas….? Well, I’d need to find work. It would be cheaper to live. The kids would still have immersion in a second language. Paul could work on the start-up full-time and we’d live off my salary. I could only do it for a year or so because then I’d have to get back to finishing my dissertation, which I would not be able to do while holding a full-time job.
Move to the NOLA suburbs…?  We’d be staying in the States and could keep the kids in an Immersion school. Paul would still have to work somewhere, and we wouldn’t need as big of a salary… but he wouldn’t be challenged. We’re not really suburb people, but it wouldn’t be as bad here as other places.
Move somewhere for a job for Paul…? This one scares us the most. He could easily get a job in the DC area, but the thought of us moving up there hits like a death sentence.
Move somewhere else for a job for either of us…? The irony is that Louisiana is the best place for me — it’s the least healthy place in the United States and ground zero for all my skills and interests. But there is no work here (part of the reason our health outcomes are 50/50 across the board.) Where else could we go?
It feels so odd for both of us to have so much promise, talent, and skill… and to have to struggle to put it in the place we want most to give it.
The bottom line is that like so many others we are filled with uncertainty. I force myself to ignore it, we’ve done it before and I can’t destroy myself dwelling on one more thing. (I spend enough time worrying about house fires and driving into a lake.) The high cost of living here? It’s wearing us down, frankly. Paul’s digestive system sounds like an espresso machine and my eyes look like I’ve been boxing without a mask. How long until we break? Do we keep trying to work it out, or do we bail? And if we bail, we run out of here and to….?
We just don’t know.
shokufeh | 12-Apr-09 at 8:05 pm | Permalink
Wow, that’s big and stressful. I hope things work out, in a good way.
Emmy | 12-Apr-09 at 8:38 pm | Permalink
Wow, Holly. This makes me so sad. That our city is such a challenging place for people to live.
I’m sure we have some houses for sale in our neighborhood, if you’re considering the suburbs?(:
But if you’re really looking to make a public health move, Katie Bowler might be good to connect with. She’s SO very happy in NC (and their amazing public schools, at least in the UNC-Chapel Hill district?)…I don’t know how relevant that might be for your interests.
Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, and please don’t do anything too spontaneous):
Christoph | 12-Apr-09 at 10:18 pm | Permalink
Hey, how about Austin?
Lord knows we’ve got some high-tech firms here.
http://www.statesman.com/business/content/business/technology/index.html
Good food, friendly people, *wonderful* urban parks, great living.
http://www.statesman.com/classifieds/content/classifieds/realestate/index.html
Just pitchin’.
ps — Not sure if paul is familiar with Reglan but it’s my friend when I need it.
Violet | 13-Apr-09 at 7:58 am | Permalink
Holly, while I really admire your commitment to NO, I worry about what is being lost to that great expenditure of energy it takes to keep you there. If you decide to relocate, please bear in mind that you take all that is wonderful about your family with you. The place is really only a small percentage of what matters.
Having said that, I think Raleigh and Austin are good places to look–and if we had work in Michigan, I’d be lobbying for your return to A2. But the opportunities are in other places.
Good luck with this one. You guys need a break.
Violet
Georgia | 13-Apr-09 at 8:57 am | Permalink
As much as I have my own love/hate relationship with New Orleans, the love always wins.
But often I don’t know why.
I cringe at the thought of this city without you guys, and you guys without this city. But I completely understand your struggles – or your worry about impending struggles. And having those two beautiful kids makes it all so different, and so much more scary. Please let me know if you need anything. At ALL. You and Paul are ALWAYS helping someone, or offering to help with something….so do forget to accept help if you need it. From childcare help, to daiquiri delivery…don’t hesitate to ask! Those are the first 2 things that came to my mind. 🙂
eli | 13-Apr-09 at 9:28 am | Permalink
Please call me to talk.
magpie | 13-Apr-09 at 1:14 pm | Permalink
Oy. I wish I had a constructive suggestion.
K | 13-Apr-09 at 2:46 pm | Permalink
This makes me really sad and I don’t even know you. We are planning a move back to the city because it feels like the only place on earth for us (even with its challenges). I don’t want to see people leave. Although 3 years ago I had to leave because of the high cost of living. But life on the outside just isn’t the same.
Katie
Emily R | 13-Apr-09 at 5:04 pm | Permalink
we are dealing with many of these same issues and it is exhausting. see? that’s me in the boat right next to you.
pistolette | 14-Apr-09 at 5:54 am | Permalink
I wish I knew what to say, but I’ve seen so many people come and go these last 3 years that it never surprises me. It’s simply hard to live here. A lot of folks like me can only get by some days by remembering our obligations to family and friends that have lived here for generations, but if I didn’t have that I don’t know how long I’d take the abuse here. I wish you the best of luck with this tough decision.
Btw, have you considered renting out your house temporarily while you guys work abroad for a year or two? Then you could come right back and pick up where you left off at school. And I agree with you on the suburbs thing. I once told hubby I’d rather live in a one room hovel in the city rather than a mcmansion in the ant farm, but lately I’ve been thinking it might be fun to crash the neighborhood association rules by turning all the front yard turf into a huge vegetable garden 🙂
heather | 19-Apr-09 at 5:51 pm | Permalink
Wow that is so hard. My husband and I are both defense contractors and we feel pretty stable, but that could change in the next year or so – there are so many cuts being planned. Hope you can at least hold onto the stroller, we have the same one and it’s great. =)