“Mommy, can you get me something to read while I sit on the toilet?”
“You need something to read?”
“Yes.”
“Like, a magazine?”
“No. A book. Can you get the one in your bedroom that is about ducks?”
—
Before you go to snap judgments…
That Little Man, the one who wants to read about ducks while sitting on the throne, has silently endured an ear infection so bad that the pressure burst through the membrane of his ear drum and started leaking fluid out of his ear. I noticed the dried fluid when we came home from his Christmas party Friday morning and within 30 seconds, had the doctor’s office on the phone. Any thoughts on how painful it must be to have your ear filled with pussy fluid* with pressure so strong that it breaks through an organ? (Okay, so probably that membrane isn’t an organ. But wow, shouldn’t this at least be memorable in the short-term? Cause an ‘ouch,’ maybe?) I found photographic evidence of it from earlier that morning, from photos I took during the holiday party:
So, just to be clear: men who like to read about ducks on the can are tough. T-O-U-G-H.
Oh, did I mention? He wore a red flashing Rudolph nose from the party all afternoon, including through the entire trip to the doctor’s office — thoroughly mortifying the two teenage boys that he sat beside in the waiting room — and delighting everyone that saw him. You know, while his little 5-year old head was leaking pussy fluid*.
That’s my guy. Keepin’ it real.
(Last photo by Paul, who took the photo. Photo by Paul showing Will wearing the stocking on his head, taken by Paul, who took the photo. Just in case: that last photo? Paul took it. Thanks, Paul!)
* Meagan kindly noted my use of the phrase “pussy fluid” (not once, but TWICE) in this post and though it would totally be the right thing to, um, watch my phrase-ology, I just can’t bring myself to change it. I just can’t stop laughing at myself.
Meagan | 20-Dec-08 at 11:54 pm | Permalink
You may want to consider rethinking this statement: “ear filled with pussy fluid” before you get some surprising google hits! Hope he’s feeling better soon!
Lee | 21-Dec-08 at 9:09 am | Permalink
Having endured several burst eardrums as a child I feel for little man, the thing is once they burst it is a relief…not that I recommend that.
At 9 I had one that caused me to faint…it hadn’t burst, just on the verge, we had returned from vacation the night before, maybe the trip thru the Smokies had something to do with that one.
My four year old, J, is currently enduring a ear infection too, My Will has had one ear infection in his 8 years, lucky dog LOL.
Jenni | 21-Dec-08 at 12:43 pm | Permalink
I remember getting treated like a queen during one of my many ear infections as a child. I got TWO coloring books, my own brand new box of crayons, and all the BigStick popsicles I wanted. Why? Because BOTH my ears did this same thing. My mom, too, figured I must be in so much pain, but I actually don’t remember any pain.
I remember a different time with an ear infection where, when we went in, they actually cleaned them out with a water pick. My mom also treated me like a queen for the day figuring that must have been horrible; it actually was a relief and felt great!
kitty | 21-Dec-08 at 1:05 pm | Permalink
Oh boy, if little man loves ducks, take him over to my blog and put “they hatched” in the search bar. We had this duck come in my yard and hatch her eggs last spring. They were so cute.
Hope he’s feeling better soon.
admin | 21-Dec-08 at 2:36 pm | Permalink
Meagan: you have us rolling with laughter!!! I should have followed up that last post about my pussy running away and my husband having to drag it out from under the house. I almost don’t want to fix it just to see how many google searches come in. 🙂
Lee: thanks for your experience! I would have thought he would have had pain leading up to it bursting, but he didn’t indicate anything to us.
Jenni: don’t tell my kids about your treatment while sick — they will try for sick days everyday!
Kitty: we are totally checking this out. Both kids are DUCK CRAZY.
Janna | 22-Dec-08 at 5:37 pm | Permalink
I had a post called Nasty Mom things that were about the gross things you do as a Mom. People kept searching for “nasty mom” and getting my site!
I hope Will feels better- ear infections are awful on their own, let alone bad enough to burst an ear drum. Ouch. Poor kid.
kitty | 23-Dec-08 at 12:48 am | Permalink
I was laughing about the “pussy fluid” also. I didn’t have the heart to point it out. LOL.
kitty | 23-Dec-08 at 1:51 pm | Permalink
Here’s the link to that duckling post: http://cinemagypsy.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/they-hatched/
They were so cute, Holly.
Cold Spaghetti » Blog Archive » He is 5 years going on 15, Mother is unprepared. | 23-Jan-09 at 12:41 pm | Permalink
[…] It feels like it was just yesterday that I was forcing him into his clothes. Or video-taping him in a school dance. Or passing by the bathroom to find him happily sitting on the can, reading a book about ducks. […]
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