Cold Spaghetti

We uploaded the Nightline segment on the violence surge in New Orleans that discusses Helen’s murder to youtube. In short, the piece cuts down to heartstrings and buzz points. Emmy (Abeona’s amazing director) provides a wonderful interview, even if the clip edits out much of her thoughtful and poignant commentary. Our kids are featured (Will included, although mostly hidden at the lunch table). Several of my photographs (4, I think) are featured, although uncredited. Kate and I are in a group photo from the March (taken by Paul, uncredited). While the clip is respectful, it falls short on content. The grinding poverty exposed and exacerbated by Katrina and its relationship to violence are not discussed. The spot was between an Oscar story related to the best picture snub for Dreamgirls and physical signs of rudeness in France. Make what you will of that.

I also found these march/rally videos. This one features Dora (friend, Abeona parent, and ShoeNami shopkeeper) in the very beginning.

Helen’s husband, Paul, wrote a moving piece in the Times-Picayune. It came at at wonderful time. I’ve been seething about Riley’s assertion of Paul’s withholding information for days; too frustrated and angry to speak or write a thing about it. What can I say? Warren Riley is a horrible, ineffective leader. He lies, points fingers, distorts truth and by doing so, provides one more reason why New Orleans and her people struggle. He is an embarrassment. How dare he.

Our photos from the March/Rally may be viewed here.

Now that Will is out of diapers, a whole new world has been introduced to us: KIDS IN UNDERPANTS.

Even with the choices of disposables, cloth, characters, and brand, diapers are collectively ambiguous, nameless, and generic. At least they seem that way compared to the fast-paced world of Underwear. Underwear is a serious business. Kids talk about their underwear with the same intensity that they discuss treats, toy, and trips to the zoo. They announce that they’re wearing it to strangers. Give the slightest hint of interest (or maybe even not) and chances are, that little guy or gal will flash some Dora, Spiderman, or Bob the Builder.

Last week, Will spent a Saturday back in Pull-Ups because they were BOB Pull-ups. The generic pirate undies, although good for “pirate days,” weren’t cutting it 24/7. In the pushover mindset of parents who are willing to do whatever it takes to solidify successful potty training, we found Bob Underwear. Will found the box of undies the moment he came home and he acted as if he’d just stumbled upon the world’s largest vat of ice cream, bouncing around the room with infectious joy. We couldn’t help but get excited, too, “Hooray, Bob Underwear for our Big Boy Will! We’re so proud of you!!” How silly was I to think that he would be able to resist the temptation of wearing them long enough for me to wash them? Unthinkable. But I held firm and insisted that they needed to be washed first.

As a side note, parents of preschoolers need to think — and think hard — on the things they insist to their children. Intense feeling about something may raise a level of interest in said child that is not anticipated. By insisting on clothes being washed before wearing, I impressed upon Will the importance of LAUNDRY. Which is why I keep opening the washer to find random dirty clothes (read: Will’s underpants) and a huge scoop of Tide tossed in with the freshly washed clothes. While having a front loader does give him better access, visiting my parents this weekend proved that top loading machines are no matter to our laundry-helping kid. Will is so enthusiastic about his Underwear that he even will help load the dryer to move things along.
Another Underwear issue:

Me: “Will, your Underwear is on backwards.”
Will: “No it’s not.”
Me: “The picture of Spiderman goes on your butt.”
Will: “No, IT DOESN’T. It goes in front so I can see it!”

Good darn point. Who are the pictures there for, anyway? Who and what are those Underpants manufacturers thinking about when they put the pictures on the backside?? Attention: manufacturers of children’s underpants! Pictures go on the front! Children’s underpants are made for the children who wear them, not those who might be looking at their underpant-clad behinds, as noted my brilliant, Underpant-wearing child.

Our Coffee-welding angels…
Starbucks came to Abeona on Friday, giving us hope beyond our dreams. They flew in the day before and arrived bright and early, bearing gifts, surprises, and helping hands. Among the tangible gifts were mulch as a temporary fix to the backyard (which was getting muddier and muddier by the day), $2000 in donations that they had raised from their Seattle co-workers, coffee, hot chocolate and pastries for parents and teachers, and a huge assortment of coffee beans with a bean grinder! Perhaps even more uplifting was the interest, compassion, and enthusiasm they shared. They seemed to truly grasp the scope of Abeona, our challenges, triumphs, and special magic .
The morning was spent with the mulch — Abeona folks and Starbucks partners wheeled in and emptied several dozen bags of mulch, making a huge “mountain” in the yard. Then the 2s and 3s were brought out… who can resist a mountain of mulch?? They knew what to do. (Photos of the morning here.)
Will had enough mulch in his Bob the Builder underwear to nicely cover the diffenbachia potted on our front porch.

Once they’d jumped and climbed their hearts out, teachers passed out kid-size shovels and rakes for the kids to get to work spreading it out in the yard. Few things are cooler than giving a bunch of preschoolers a serious job and watching them hop to it with the intensity of Olympians preparing for their event.
We are so thrilled that these people, from the other side of the country, took such an honest and sincere interest with us. On any given day, we feel isolated, misunderstood, and forgotten. The tragedy of New Orleans and our struggle to save this important city — somehow, these have become passé, old-news, out-of-fashion. Being here is hard. Feeling forgotten is a big part of why.
One of the many positive aspects of Starbucks’ visit was how it made us realize how far Abeona has come. With so much looming ahead and so many challenges yet to face, there have not been many opportunities to see our progress. More than ever, I am inspired and amazed by peers in this city and by the fantastic space we’ve created.

Paul’s Mom knitted this beautiful sweater for Kate — how amazing is that?! I’ve been terrified of using it but decided to take advantage of the cooler temps, the beautiful afternoon, and the fact that it is one of the last Thursdays I’ll have with Kate before she joins her brother at school 5 days a week.
After encouragement from Matt and others, I’ve started shooting in RAW format and am playing with photo processing software. If I were in Peru, I’d go to “the guy” for Photoshop… but since I’m not, it’s free Adobe Lightroom for now. Not that I know what I’m doing with either of them.
Matt told us he’d bring his monitor calibration tools and adjust the monitor to true color, so I may start printing without processing edits. I’m very excited about this new side to photography and hope to soak all I can from Matt while he and awesome wife Laura visit during Mardi Gras!

Paul and I sent a letter out to family and friends at the holidays talking about Abeona House. I’m copying parts of that letter here. We are eager for support towards a variety of Abeona initiatives. There are Reggio-related equipment and resources needed for our classrooms, teaching tools needed to follow Reggio documentation and community learning (things like a digital camera), and funds needed for our hardship assistance program (which subsidizes needy families and allows us to continue to serve a range of incomes on a sliding scale). Should you, your family, or an organization you are involved with be interested in making a donation, providing resources, or holding a fundraiser, please contact us or Abeona House for more information. Please be a part of our magical space!

The story of Abeona, as experienced by Paul and I:

When we returned post-Katrina to find that the quality childcare we had depended on was no longer available, we decided to join other parents to explore other options. These efforts lead to the founding of Abeona House in November 2005. It took us almost a year of work to open. Parent volunteers gave nearly 2,000 hours and contributed over $30,000 in no-interest loans to finance its start. In September 2006, Abeona opened with a full roster of 32 enrolled children (age 6 weeks to 5 yrs) and a waitlist of 60 and growing. Paul and I remain deeply involved with the school; Paul is the President of the Board of Trustees and I volunteer each week.

The Abeona House Child Discovery Center is a non-profit, parent-led organization that arose out of the need for high-quality childcare in post-Katrina New Orleans. Named after the Roman Goddess Abeona, who watches over children when they leave their mother’s care, it is the only center in the city that uses the Reggio-Emilia early education philosophy to guide its programming. Like Abeona House, the Reggio approach was borne out of community response to disaster. After World War II, citizens of the town of Reggio nell’Emilia, Italy, decided to use the remnants of destroyed buildings to create a school. Being dissatisfied with the current state-run early childhood programs, the philosophy grew out of a desire to create an environment where children could acquire skills of critical thinking and collaboration essential to rebuilding a society. At Abeona House, we honor this philosophy and strive to create a learning, nurturing environment that respects the individuality of each child, encourages parental involvement and appropriately rewards teachers and staff.

Abeona fills a critical niche in New Orleans as a supportive learning community that provides quality childcare at a sliding cost scale. Like Paul and I, many of the other Abeona families are “on the edge” – financially and emotionally – with our decision to stay in New Orleans. Participation in the creation of Abeona has given us grounding and a sense of community that we lost after the storm. The school’s holistic approach is a needed refuge from the harsh realities of life in our post-Katrina world. All of us experienced displacement; many are rebuilding destroyed homes. Most of us work in the social service sector – at local nonprofits, schools and hospitals, and several are struggling small business owners. Even members our teaching staff – an incredible group of dedicated professionals with talents and experience in special education, early childhood development, preschool art and music, and bilingual education – still live in trailers. Everyone involved with Abeona represents a family dedicated to children, education, and building a better community.

Paul and I write all this to express to you how important Abeona is and to implore for your help. Abeona House is at a critical juncture. The months of loss and costs of rebuilding have tapped our community resources. Survival means reaching out. As you participate in your workplaces, schools, churches, book clubs, parent groups, and volunteer positions, please keep Abeona in your hearts and minds. You can help us with a sponsorship, fundraiser, or by making a donation. Please help us create a foundation for quality, affordable early education in New Orleans.

We got the official notice from ABC Nightline staff… tonight is the broadcast.

The Little Man.
TLM got himself into a bit of trouble last night when he, protesting a trip the shower and using a request for a cookie as a stall tactic, peed on Paul and the kitchen floor. Whoa. We had the “we love you, but your behavior is completely unacceptable” talk and explained that he had lost the privileges of a bedtime story and goodnight song. Shower time commenced and bedtime followed. Whether because of a need to know everything was “okay” with us, or because of a need to continue to test the waters, Will had a tough time falling asleep.

For the next hour, we found him:
– Quietly typing away at Paul’s computer
– Putting on shoes in his room
– Singing songs while hanging off the base of his bed
– Using the bathroom at least 3 times (productively, though… he actually had a bad bout of diarrhea)

He was obviously aware of his transgressions, instantly went back to bed without complaint when found, and clearly found humor in the odd assortment of activities he was choosing to surprise us with.

The last stalling technique was the most impressive. I was in the kitchen and heard his little feet nearing me from the hall. I turned to see a pants-free Will shuffling down the hall, eyes tightly shut, head tilted to the side resting on his blanket, mouth trying to suppress a mischievous smile. He was trying to fake sleepwalking… it was very hard to stop from breaking out in giggles. I had to bite my lip and force every muscle into a rigid set to position him back to bed and firmly assert that he was to not get out of bed again… and then rush out the front door to the porch where I could explode in laughter without fear of being heard.

ABC’s Nightline news show visited Abeona House last week. They took video of the house, the kids, and interviewed our director, Emmy. (Paul walked in during the interview and was introduced, but says he wasn’t filmed.) It was part of a short story they were researching involving the “increase in homicide” in New Orleans. We’re all sort of ambivalent and nervous about it… will be sensationalized? Will they get it? Tune in… it airs tonight: locally, it’s 10:35pm on channel 11 WGNO.

Things got rough early on and the anxiety became too much.
(Not that Kate, contentedly tearing up the house, noticed.)
We set off for the park. The neighborhood was silent — no cars, no kids at the playground. Neighbors came out to porches at times and gave us updates on the game.


THANKS, SAINTS FOR A GREAT SEASON — YOU GAVE US PRIDE AND HOPE! WHO DAT!!!