We are getting closer and closer to actual potty training. Which means we have a serious choice to make: How do we teach Will about private parts?
And more importantly: What do we call those parts?
All the information I’ve found says to use the real words (penis, vagina, vulva). In truth, I agree with this completely. I have no problem using those words, explaining what our private parts are for (tolieting and making babies) and being clear that these parts are private, to be touched only by yourself, a close caretaker during washing, or doctor.
Still, we resist. Maybe it’s because we have been parents long enough to know that those words will surface in terribly embarrassing moments once they’ve been unleashed. Or maybe it’s because we’re just uptight. Either way, we stayed up late into the night last night discussing possible alternatives.
We were throwing out sounds and making up words to represent “penis,” when I suggested “zombo.” Paul immediately giggled and said, “Oh, no. Not zombo.”
“Why, what is ‘zombo?'”
“You don’t know? Come with me to the computer.”
If you are like me and have not been introduced to zombo, please, stop reading and go directly to www.zombo.com. If you do not, you will be cheating yourself. Go to the website and be confused. Be sure that your volume is on. Give it a good 5 minutes or so.
After being introduced to 15footstick‘s early-internet WTF?! joke, we decided that, if we went with made up names, zombo would totally be our word for penis.
Which leaves us in a quandry. Should Daddy have a zombo? (We’re not sure what Mommy should have. Top choices include “pente” and “bunky.”) We like zombo so much that we’re having a hard time doing what we think is right (i.e.: using the real words.) We actually can’t remember what words we learned as kids, although we both agreed that they were made-up words and not the real stuff. So would it really be that damaging to use made-up words? Or should we just stick with the real stuff and deal with the laughs it might bring in mixed company?
Anonymous | 21-Aug-06 at 8:48 am | Permalink
bunky sounds too much like bunco.
If you play and tell him that you are giong to play bunco tonight then he may start to mix the two up! Just my thought…
Laura | 21-Aug-06 at 12:49 pm | Permalink
[Dislaimer: a non-mom giving advice, here. Take it or leave it, but it’s my 2 cents!]
I say use the real words, but I really believe we should tell the kids the truth. When I was 18, my brother asked me what a “lesbian” was. I told him that lesbians were women who loved women in the way mommy and daddy did. My mom threw a fit. Is my brother scarred? Well, not from THAT.
If you yourself aren’t embarassed to use the real words, so what if he blurts it out? I think that we were taught nicknames because they are “cuter” than the real word, but I think kids can learn the real words. You wouldn’t teach a kid that a “box” is a “boxy-woxy”… If he does say vagina or penis in public just act normal and say that those are certain things we discuss privately (or whatever mommy line you have that may be much better than mine!). Could you imagine Will yelling, “Stop touching my zombo!” if someone is touching him inappropriately? I think penis would be much more effective.
Anonymous | 21-Aug-06 at 5:31 pm | Permalink
http://www.dooce.com/archives/daily/05_24_2006.html
Heather B. Armstrong is one of my favorite writers and she has a daughter the same age as Will. Maybe you’d like to check out her dilemma of what to call everyone’s “parts” when she was starting to potty train her daughter.
Holly | 21-Aug-06 at 6:19 pm | Permalink
Dooce is a fave of mine as well! I remember reading this post awhile back; it is where we picked up the word “bunky.”