Our latest parenting effort has been to create a firm bedtime for Will. I am NOT supportive of the “cry it out methods” (Ferber, etc.), particularly when the baby is under a year old. So, we’ve worked to establish a bedtime routine for Will (dinner–bathtime–stories–nursing–sleep) that allows him to naturally fall asleep and then put him in his crib. Before, when for whatever reason, this routine didn’t make him nod off, we continued the routine until he was finally asleep. Now, we’re transitioning him to his crib so that the bedtime is firm.
We started last week. The first night, he was angry. He threw a temper tantrum (complete with emptying his crib of toys, taking off and tossing his pants, and crying for about 10-15 minutes.) Paul braved this one and it was by far the worst. I think what is important is that he is old enough to not physically need us for comfort (I feel this is a really big deal) and has slept in his crib long enough for that to be a safe place. Since that first night, he has taken to the crib relatively easily, with maybe a few seconds of protest and then lying down and going to sleep. The trick is that we give him kisses, say goodnight, and put him in the crib — but we stay in the room, seated or lying on the floor, without making eye contact and without saying a word. He gets the hint very quickly and goes to sleep. It is really working great. Bedtime for Will is between 8-8:30… and boy, do we love it!
What we are still working out is what to do during the night. He still joins us in bed and that is okay for now. I’ve been thinking a lot about this and we’ve tried some different methods but ultimately believe that it is natural and physiologically appropriate. We have adjusted to this and while it isn’t as convenient as forcing him to remain in his crib all night, we make it work because we really feel it is the best thing to do.
Some sources that I find useful:
Commentary by Katherine Dettwyler (very well respected medical anthropologist, whose work I greatly admire and recommend widely.)
Dr. Sears’ FAQ
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