Now that I am a parent, I’ve found that I say the strangest things. I’m compiling a list. Here is what I’ve got so far:
— His poop is getting poopier.
— Cat food is not for babies.
— We’re not going to play in the toliet right now.
— Where are your pants?
— Don’t eat the buttpaste!
— Did you eat your sock?
— Did you feel his butt?
— He’s learning from the cats.
— You can tear the cover off this.
— Plastic bottles are the best toys.
— Put your finger in his diaper.
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